2 year dating anniversary cards - Dating a married man rules

Tirelessly focused on helping people improve their love lives, her work has been featured on EHarmony Blog, Your Tango, Thought Catalog, Mogul, Fox News Magazine, Ravishly, Femalista, Popsugar, Read Unwritten, Medium and many more.

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And, when we’re talking about love, it’s really hard to get to reach people’s rational self interest if we just use shame.

So I want to set the judgment part of why you shouldn’t date a married person aside for a moment and talk about the other consequences of dating a married guy.

Your interactions will take on a boring, same ‘ol quality, since you are limited in times you can be in public and the hours of the day that you can share. The married person CANNOT give you what you can give them, aside from the fact that they’re divided with someone else, there simply aren’t enough hours in the day. You might think your relationship is different than his relationship with his ex, and it very might well be, but unless you’re totally oblivious, the trust between you already starts out on shaky ground. Do you really want to look over your shoulder wondering “what if” all the time?

Sometimes the emotional, forbidden fruit thing takes over, and before you know it, you’re so hooked on the illicit intrigue nature of the whole affair that you miss the fact that there isn’t much there besides sex and sneaking around. Okay, I know this one is a cliche, but I find it rings true a lot of the time. As much as breakups and divorce suck, they foster a TON of personal growth.

Like Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah’s couch, fresh new love has a “sing it from the rooftops” quality. That leads to trouble down the line when they come to the realization (consciously or not) that they really needs to DO SOMETHING to make themself happy— since there was a reason they cheated in the first place, beyond the obvious.

If you fall hard for a married person, the only person who might remotely be happy for you in this case is your dog. That something that makes them happy cannot be you, since the minute things go into rocky territory, they’ll use the same coping method– cheating– to get happy again. Don’t spend it on someone who can’t build a life with you. When you’re participating in an affair, you’re using your resources in a way that is risky. Even if you “win” at a relationship with them, you still lose. No matter how dead your lover purports his marriage to be, by participating at all you’re still hurting someone else.

It also makes the whole thing into a race to get the other person to leave their spouse to justify the whole thing.

Then people say, “it was true love, it was MEANT TO BE.” The problem is, even IF he leaves his wife for you— whitewashing the morality/shame issue— you’re still picking wrong.

By dating someone married, you’re directly participating in this cycle. I don’t care if you feel like you’ve had the most super connection in history, the fact that he can’t give you a full-time, real relationship means it’s game-over.

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